Hello Again?

So hi? Hmm..probably no one will be reading this.

It's been 3 years since my last post when I decided to stay silent. Well, here I am again, almost a doctor and has changed status from single to married (yeay!) happily being Choi's lady.

There is one month left before PRO exam, our final exam as medical student.  6 years guys, 6 years! Orang kahwin pun dah boleh dapat anak dua orang. Sementara semua orang tengah berhempas pulas nak final exam, I got admitted into the ward due to acute gastritis. Orang melayu panggil 'gastrik'. I refused to get admitted but man, that 2 injections of Pethidine (painkiller) did not work on me. Tersadai la aku kat ward 3 hari. Total disconnected from the world when I supposed to be on Emergency posting.

Time passed,

3 hari tak buat tutorial
3 hari tak datang clinical
3 hari tak buat study group
3 hari tak study. Gila

Dunia yang semua benda nak kena rushing stop kejap. I felt sad though, sebab 'kena-admit-hospital' tak termasuk dalam plan dan tick tock PRO exam tu tak tunggu siapa-siapa. Tapi satu benda yang belajar, tak semua benda kena rush, lek lek sudah,

I went on the aetiology list factors of acute gastritis

a) Helicobacter pylori infection -- nope, definitely not. No urease test needed. Next!
b) Spicy food -- I dont eat curry although I'm in India
c) Coffee -- probably. DO. NOT. DRINK. COFFEE. ON. EMPTY. STOMACH
d) Alcohol, smoking -- seriously duh, next!
e) Fast food -- I only eat them once in awhile. #liesItoldyou. Fine, it is because I dont have much time to cook
f) Stress induced -- this part makes me thinking

Sila lah mengaku yang selalu je fikir benda yang tak perlu pun nak over thinking dan tak sedar you put pressure on your body, your body undergoes changes. I skipped meal often when I'm stressed out. Recently I lost appetite and being a picky eater I only want to eat food that I want. Confirm la tak dapat noks, mana nak cari laksa asam kat India. So I skipped meals again. When most of the time you spent in hospital, skipped meal it is. Even when I got excited to study, I forgot to eat, so again I skipped meal. Often time, I feel burning pain but I ignored it until it became unbearable.

I underwent changes in my surrounding, and most of them were undesired things. Those that I couldn't control. But I was in denial state, I refused to adapt with it. I projected the rage on people. I put blame on them. But my subconscious mind knows that it was nobody's fault. Time passed, everything keeps going, people change, this is the flow. If I swim againts the current, I'd get exhausted and eventually drown.

Focus on things that you can control, pay attention to your relationship with Allah, where you can feel utmost peace. Pray. Talk to Him. Focus on PRO exam. Just 1 month left and then you can go back for good. And if your heart is as fragile as a glass, please don't put the glass at the corner of the table. Don't blame it for what it made out of.

Til then XOXO


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